An open relationship – all the tips and tricks

Let’s say you’re in a good relationship, but you’re curious about having sex with someone other than your partner. What do you do? Will you ignore the feeling or cheat on your partner behind their back? More and more people are choosing to discuss this with their partners and sometimes this conversation leads to an open relationship. We’ve got a few tips for a successful open relationship!

An open relationship, what is it really?

In our current society, monogamy is the norm. However, not everyone believes in monogamy anymore and not everyone is good at being monogamous. Research shows that about 40 to 50% of people cheat on their partners. For those who don’t feel the need to be monogamous all the time, an open relationship can be a good alternative!

An open relationship is… a relationship in which the partners give each other permission not to be sexually or emotionally exclusive.

The way an open relationship works differs per couple. Some couples will give each other permission for one-time sexual contact, whereas other couples don’t mind repeated contact. It also differs per couple whether only sexual contact is permitted or if there can also be an emotional connection. In some cases, it can also happen that only one partner enters into these connections while the other partner remains monogamous.

Why someone might choose to be in an open relationship

It might seem like a strange idea to you. Why would someone want an open relationship like this? But did you know that many people fantasize about having sex with someone other than their partner? About two-thirds of women have thought about sex with other people. This is not necessarily a sign of a bad relationship, but a steady relationship is just not the way to happiness for everyone. Some people will feel happier in an open relationship.

Remember: the choice between a monogamous or open relationship is entirely up to you and your partner. Whatever you might choose, one is not better or worse than the other.

Also read: 10 sex taboos that are perfectly normal

The Coolidge Effect

It’s possible that, after having sex with someone else, people are more excited about having sex with their partner. In biology, this phenomenon is called the Coolidge Effect. This effect describes how people – mainly men – lose interest in their current partners over time. However, they are still interested in other people. If they then have sex with someone else, this can reawaken the sexual interest in their current partner.

Tips for a successful open relationship

Are you and your partner in an open relationship, or are you considering an open relationship? Then check out these tips to make sure the relationship is successful!

1. Think about what’s motivating this and communicate this to each other in a positive way. For instance: “I don’t miss anything and am very happy with you. I love you. However, I notice that I have a need for attention from other people.”
2. Make it clear you love each other and that there is no reason to doubt this love.
3. Set up clear boundaries. Talk with each other about what you will and what you won’t allow. For instance, think about a sexual or emotional connection with someone else, the use of protection (STDs), discussing these encounters with your partner, one-time or repeated contact, etc. It’s crucial that you both stand by this decision.
4. Cherish the mutual trust you have in each other. An open relationship can only work if you both have deep confidence in each other and your love.
5. Try it out first! Don’t immediately jump in the deep end. You can test out the waters first and see whether or not an open relationship is something that’s right for you.
6. Always listen to your feelings. It could happen that jealousy rears its ugly head. Discuss this together and talk about what you both need to remain happy in your open relationship.
7. Know the consequences of opening up your relationship. You might get less attention from your partner than before. That’s why it’s essential not to skip tip number 5 and try out an open relationship for a while before committing to it.

Are you in an open relationship? Or are you considering an open relationship? Please share your experiences with us in the comments. We are very interested in hearing them!