Everything you need to know about polyamory

Polyamory is a concept that is becoming more common. There are more and more examples of polyamorous relationships on television and in magazines. But what does it really mean? What does a polyamorous relationship or lifestyle look like? Read everything you’ve ever wanted to know about this form of love in this article.

What does polyamory mean?

Polyamory literally means multiple love. To put it simply, it’s about multiple love connections. All of the involved parties are aware of this and have consented to it. So, it’s about loving multiple people simultaneously and having relationships with multiple people as well.

American research shows that 1 in 5 Americans are in a non-monogamous relationship.

Different types

One polyamorous (or ‘poly’) relationship isn’t the same as another. In some cases, there is an equal relationship. Others prefer having a ‘main relationship’, with one or multiple connections on the side. There are even cases where one person has a relationship with multiple people, but also relationships where everyone has affairs with each other.

Some ‘poly’ relationships consist of relationships that are equal to each other. Others prefer having one’ main relationship’ with open connections on the side.

A ‘poly’ relationship is not the same as an open relationship. In an open relationship, there is one main relationship with consent to have affairs with other people outside of the relationship. Often, the partner is not concretely aware of these affairs.

Also read: An open relationship – all the tips and tricks!

Polyamory versus polygamy

Even though polyamory looks a lot like polygamy, there are still differences. Polygamy means there is one fixed form of multiple marriages at the same time, but in polyamory, there are a variety of forms. In a polygamous relationship, it’s less likely that you’ll have a say about what your relationship will be like, which is different in polyamory, where the people involved have more room and freedom to decide what their relationships will be like.

Polygamy often has a religious context. For instance, there are cultures in which polygamy is more common than in the western world, where we see monogamy as the norm.

Despite some relationships leaning more towards swinging, this isn’t the same thing. With swinging, the goal is often just to have sex. In a polyamorous relationship, love is key, with the potential for sex.

Being ‘poly’ or living it

There is a difference between being polyamorous and living a polyamorous lifestyle. A person can love multiple people simultaneously without being in a ‘poly’ relationship. To actually enter into such a relationship, the consent of all partners involved is essential. If one of the partners doesn’t agree, this could be a serious relationship problem.

Pros and cons to polyamory

Pros

Many people are wondering whether monogamy is all that natural. After all, it regularly occurs that we feel the need to have multiple love partners. This partly explains why cheating and divorce are much more common these days, with the expected emotional consequences. Polyamory is a way of expanding love instead of destroying it.

A second or third relationship can also complement you in other ways. It’s almost unthinkable that one partner has everything that you desire. However, a second partner could make this package more complete.

Polyamory allows for the opportunity to expand love, but in order to do so, clear rules need to be established, and this requires time and energy.

Cons

In theory, a ‘poly’ relationship seems ideal, with mutual respect, honesty, communication and love. But this isn’t always the case in reality. We always need to invest in our relationships. This already takes time and energy when you’re in a relationship with one partner. What will that be like when you have multiple partners? Especially when there are also children involved.

And, even if everyone involved agrees, it can be difficult to make clear rules and stick with them. This should make it clear what these relationships are like. For instance, jealousy is one of the most challenging aspects of a ‘poly’ relationship.

What do you think of polyamorous relationships?