Have you had an affair? These are the 4 stages you should consider

Cheating: unfortunately, it happens every day and in many relationships. There are hundreds of articles about what to expect or do when you’ve been cheated on. But even though you are completely wrong as a cheater, it will also have an effect on you. We’ll give you some tips on how to move on after you’ve cheated on your partner.

Stage 1: Confession

Whether you want to continue with your partner or not, your love absolutely deserves the truth. As painful and difficult as it may be, don’t wait too long to confess to cheating. The longer you wait, the more painful it becomes. Telling the truth quickly not only prevents you from walking around with a terrible feeling, it also makes it less difficult for your partner to trust you again. By telling the truth quickly, you show that you take your relationship and your partner seriously. Before you start talking to your partner about your slip-up, it’s very important to think about why you cheated. Is there something lacking in your relationship that you found with someone else? Do you see any future in your relationship? Do you regret cheating because you put your relationship at risk, or are you sorry because you didn’t want to hurt your partner in this way? Make sure you have a clear understanding of these things before you start talking to your partner about the possible future of your relationship.

“Telling the truth quickly not only prevents you from walking around with a terrible feeling, it also makes it less difficult for your partner to trust you again.”

Bear in mind that you’ve hurt your partner deeply, and this pain is probably projected onto you. It’s only logical and not entirely unjustified. So be ready for reproaches, a lot of grief, and hurtful remarks. Prepare for an awkward period and unpleasant conversations. Keep in mind that this can make your relationship stronger, or you can decide that it’s better to split up. Either way, it’s better than continuing an unhappy relationship where you’re not honest with each other.

Also read: Cheating: why do people do it?

Stage 2: Try to forgive yourself

Cheating is never a classy move, nor is it to be condoned. No matter how bad your relationship is, cheating is never a smart move. Still, keep in mind that cheating doesn’t make you a monster. You’re a human being and people make mistakes that they regret and learn from. You’ve made a mistake, but you are not defined by that mistake. Remember that.

Stage 3: Give the other person time and space to think about it

Although you would like to repair your relationship as soon as possible and make it clear that it was really a one-off thing, your partner feels as if the world has fallen from under their feet. “I’ve cheated on you” is one of the most painful things to hear from your lover. It’s difficult, but give the other person space and time if they ask for it. In the meantime, seek contact with your friends or family to talk about it, and only talk to your partner when they feel the need to do so again.

Also read: Do’s and don’ts if your partner has cheated on you

Stage 4: Take trust issues into account!

We’re not talking about trust issues with your partner, but you will have to deal with them too. After all, you know how easy it is to sneak around with someone on the phone, to end up with your tongue in someone else’s mouth or… worse. Keep in mind that you can be haunted by these thoughts, so be honest about this with your partner or possible new partner. Communication is always key, whether you’ve been cheated on or have cheated on someone yourself.

Remember: You’ve made a mistake, but you are not defined by it. Remember that.

Have you ever cheated? How did you deal with it? Let us know in the comments!