How do you reach a dom space or sub space?

Subspace, dom space? Two terms that have everything to do with the world of BDSM. It refers to the mental state the dom or sub can enter during their play. You can look at it as a type of trance. We’ll tell you more about it in this article.

The dom space

What is a dom space?

A dom space is a mental state in which the dominant partner can feel very special, in a trance-like state or hyperalert. It can even feel like a natural ‘high’. A dom can reach such a state during or after play when they become aware of their qualities as a Master or Mistress and witness how the sub reacts.

The dom space consists of multiple phases:

1 Normal space

This is the normal state of the dom. The dom’s “everyday space”.

2 Pre-dom space

When you start participating in BDSM, you will likely take on either the role of dom or sub (although you can be a “switch,” too). The moment the dominant partner takes on the role of Master or Mistress and the sub takes on the submissive role, the dynamic between the two of you will start to become apparent. But you still need to get a feel for things. This is the pre-dom phase.

3 Test space

Every now and then, the dom will test how the division of roles is going and how the sub responds to their directions and commands. It’s like a testing phase in which both partners discover if they are a good match and how far they can go. The dom can test how well the sub obeys their commands and the sub can test out what happens when they don’t follow orders.

Also read: An introduction to BDSM

4 Dominant space

At this moment, the dom is aware of the control they have over the sub. The dom can begin to feel superior and they can go overboard with their sense of power. That’s pretty dangerous because there is a chance that the dom will lose self-control, which is why it’s necessary for a dom to always take four essential factors into account to see if everything is still voluntary, safe, responsible and if there is still trust. As s dom, you’re in charge of your sub during your play, but you can never do things your sub doesn’t want!

During BDSM, these four terms are essential: trust, voluntary (consent), safe and responsible.

5 High space

This is the ultimate dom space. The high space. By having complete control over the sub, the dom can experience a high. The dom experiences the feeling of power in every fibre of their being. Some doms feel invulnerable during this phase and intensely enjoy the game that they’ve created and led. Because of this, this is often the phase during which the mutual connection between the dom and sub reaches its height.

De sub space

A sub space is a mental state in which the sub feels intense happiness and can even feel like they’re ‘floating’. It’s comparable to a state of deep meditation or being ‘high’. Many subs will describe a sub space like ‘floating’, or being in a trance. Some subs even say it feels like an out-of-body experience.

How do you reach a sub space?

Do you want to reach a sub space? Then how you structure the BDSM game is essential. The amount of pain you receive needs to be build-up, allowing tension and intensity to increase over time. This provides the sub with enough time and space to be swept away into the play, both physically and mentally.

Also read: Bondage techniques for the bedroom explained

It’s also essential to have mutual trust. The sub’s positive emotions help them reach a sub space. On the other hand, negative emotions can influence the sub’s mental state. A sub that feels comfortable will experience a sub space more easily and feel better because of it.

What does a sub space feel like?

For many people, the sub space starts with a tingling sensation and a rise in blood pressure. This is where the floating feeling also begins. The extent to which the sub experiences this can vary tremendously from person to person, but it also depends on the situation. The pain and excitement that are brought forth during the BDSM game can enhance the sub space. During this, the following characteristics may emerge:

• An intense feeling of happiness.
• Confusion.
• Trouble moving and possibly having slightly less control over your body.
• Living in a bubble. The world around you disappears, and you’re only living in the space of your game.
• Strong emotional reactions. Often, you have less control over your emotions in a sub space.
• Difficulty thinking and speaking clearly at times. It can even occur that a sub doesn’t talk at all when they are in a deep sub space.
• A higher pain threshold. A sub can also endure more when they are ‘spacing’. As a dom, do keep their limits in mind.

A sub experiences various emotions, which differ per person, but a feeling of trust often accompanies a sub space. The sub can shed all of their insecurities and fears and trust the dom completely. Resistance doesn’t exist anymore, only the carefree enjoyment of the moment.

What is your favourite experience with sub space and/or dom space? Please share it with us in the comments.