This is how you keep the flame alive!

When you and your partner have just gotten together, everything still seems ‘perfect’. You feel a tingle in your stomach when you look at them, there’s always excitement in the air, and you don’t really notice your partner’s imperfections. You want it to be like this forever, but unfortunately, a relationship is never as exciting and wonderful as it is during the first few months. Still, with these tips, it can stay exciting and interesting for the long-term too!

#1 Always be open and honest, but not too open and honest

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: a good relationship depends on open and honest communication. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to share everything with your partner. Some things are better left exclusively for your friends, like discussing your new colleague’s sexy boobs, the guy at your child’s nursery school who likes to flirt with you, or that sexual fantasy you had about someone else. In most cases, these stories will not make your partner very happy. There’s a risk that you’ll make your partner feel that they’re no longer enough for you.

#2 Do new things together and break the routine

Especially when you live together, you risk falling into a rut. You spend every night on the sofa together, you brush your teeth together every morning, you give them a quick kiss before heading out, and off you go. The routine provides a safe and familiar feeling, but the excitement and spontaneity are nowhere to be found. Take your partner out for a meal, surprise them with a fun day out, or make them breakfast for no special reason. Additionally, try new things together! Swimming together, climbing, and go-karting are nice ideas. Or learn how to play an instrument together. Taking dancing lessons is also great fun!

“The routine provides a safe and familiar feeling, but the excitement and spontaneity are nowhere to be found.”

Fake first date

A nice way to break the routine and spice things up again is to have a first date. Yes, of course it’s not really a first date, as you’ve known each other for a while now. However, you can make just as much effort as you’d do on a first date. Do you live together? Then travel to the restaurant separately. Make sure one of you is at a friend’s house first or comes straight from work. Make an effort with your outfit and leave your phone in your bag or pocket during dinner. Try not to talk about your daily life (work and family) during this date. Instead, talk about passions, dreams for the future, and your favourite memories of the time when you were dating.

#3 Buy a gift from time to time

Of course, this doesn’t have to be an expensive gift. The point is that you also try to show your partner your appreciation in this way. Does your girlfriend talk about a new lip balm or shampoo all the time? Buying it for her shows that you really listen to her. Or do you hear your man complaining about irritated skin after shaving? Get him a soothing shaving balm! This shows that you’re listening and thinking of him. And of course, a spontaneous bouquet of flowers is always a good idea!

#4 Know each other’s love language

Have you ever heard of the five love languages? In short, these are five different ways in which people express their love and want to receive it. Everyone has their own favourite. The five languages are: Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. If you and your partner both speak a different love language, it can cause problems in the long run. That’s why it’s very important to know how your partner likes to receive love, and for your partner to know how they can give you what you desire.

Also read: Want to improve your relationship? Get to know the five love languages

#5 Don’t forget to live your own life

Aside from being a partner, you’re also your own person. It’s so important to do your own thing. You don’t have to eat together every night, go to bed together every night, and have dinner at your parents’ or in-laws’ house every weekend. When you’re not constantly spending time with each other, you long for the moments you do have together. Give yourself space to miss your partner. Apart from that: independence is sexy. If you show that you can also do things alone, this is only extra attractive for your partner. You don’t need them, you want them. And that’s even better!

How do you keep your relationship exciting?