36 questions to fall in love

falling in love

With these 36 questions, even strangers could fall in love with each other. No, that’s not our conviction – science tells us so! American psychologist Arthur Aaron found that there was so little research on love that he decided to investigate this unique phenomenon himself. He and his colleague (and future spouse, how romantic) Elaine Spaulding came up with this list of 36 questions.

Is love really that simple?

These questions are designed to help you build an intimate relationship with the person sitting opposite you in a short period of time – even if you’ve never spoken to each other before. After you’ve answered all the questions, you stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes. And then? Then you’re hopelessly in love with each other! At least, in some cases. If only love worked that easily, huh? Unfortunately, it is no guarantee of unconditional love, but it’s certainly worth a try. Even if you’ve been in a relationship for a while but are looking for more intimacy or passion, you can go through this list with your partner.

“And then you are hopelessly in love with each other! At least, in some cases. If only love worked that easily, huh?”

Now it’s time to start the questions! Take your time and make sure there are no distractions. Play some relaxing music in the background, light some candles, have a nice glass of your favourite drink, and wear comfortable clothes. Turn off your phones and give each other your full attention.

  1. If you could choose anyone in the whole world (living or not), with whom would you like to have dinner?
  2. Would you like to be famous? If so, for what?
  3. Before you make a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
  4. Describe your ‘perfect’ day.
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? And when did you last sing to someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to be 90 years old, and for the last 60 years of your life you could keep the body of a 30-year-old or the mind of a 30-year-old, which would you choose?
  7.  Do you have premonitions about how you will die?
  8.  Name three things that you and your partner seem to have in common.
  9.  What are you most grateful for in your life?
  10. Would you like for something to have been different about your own upbringing?
  11. Tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible in four minutes.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or talent, which would you choose?

36 vragen verliefd

  1. If you could see the truth about yourself, the future, life, or anything else in a crystal ball, what would you want to know?
  2. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?
  3. What’s your greatest accomplishment in life?
  4. What do you value most in a friendship?
  5. What’s your most precious memory?
  6. What’s your worst/scariest/saddest memory?
  7. If you knew you would die in a year, would you change anything about your present life? Why?
  8. What does friendship mean to you?
  9. How important is love in your life?
  10. Name five positive characteristics of your partner.
  11. How close is your family? Do you think your childhood was happier or less happy than average?
  12.  What’s your relationship with your mother like, and how do you feel about it?

verliefd zijn

  1. Both people should make three true ‘we’ statements. For example: ‘We’re sitting next to each other and we’re sharing…’ or ‘We just met and we are…’.
  2. Complete this sentence: ‘I want to have someone with whom I can share …’.
  3. What should your partner really know about you?
  4. Tell your partner what you like about them. Dig a little deeper than ‘beautiful eyes’ or ‘a good sense of humour’.
  5. Share the most embarrassing moment of your life.
  6. When was the last time you cried when you were alone? When was the last time you cried in front of someone else?
  7. Tell your partner something you like about them.
  8. What subject do you find so serious that you’d never joke about it?
  9. If you were to die tonight, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  10. Your house, with everything you own, is on fire. After rescuing your loved ones and pets, you still have time to save one thing. What would it be and why?
  11. Whose death, of all the people in your family, would upset you the most? Why?
  12. Tell your partner a personal problem and ask them how they would deal with it. Also ask how your partner feels about the problem you have chosen.

Have you already asked them, or will you try out these 36 questions? Let us know!

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