Everything you need to know about spanking


Pain can feel good, right? Some people find pain very arousing, while others want nothing to do with it. The thrill, pain and props can be an exciting addition to your sex life. In this blog, we’ve listed some great tips on spanking and how to spank responsibly. Read on!

Content of this article

If you thought spanking was only part of the BDSM world and sex films, you’re wrong. This sexual act has found its way into many bedrooms. The occasional erotic spanking has become quite normal! Even for people who don’t normally engage in BDSM.

The nice thing about spanking is that you can do it without having to buy any props. Making your partner bend over and slapping their bum with the flat of your hand already does the trick. But of course, you can extend this form of soft BDSM with different (safe) props and sex toys.

Why do people like spanking?

Many people love getting spanked because the pain releases endorphins in the brain. It simply gives you a natural high! With spanking, the slogan “no pain, no gain” becomes a felt experience. The pain is accompanied by arousal, which in turn can lead to an intense orgasm..

Did you know… that spanking produces endorphins in the brain?

Start slowly

Randomly slapping someone on their bum is, of course, not okay. You really can’t do this in the office, or even in the bedroom, without their consent. That’s why it’s important to agree on a few things together before you do it! Think of very simple things: what are you allowed to spank someone with? And what stop word are you going to use?

It’s also important to start spanking gently. Don’t go too hard, but not too soft either. If your partner experiences too much pain, they can use the stop word or stop sign to indicate this!


Extra sensitive

Our skin becomes incredibly sensitive after all that spanking. Compare the level of sensitivity to a bruise or minor scratch. It can feel soothing if the bum is stroked or kissed after a slap. Actually, any tender touch works! For example, a soft tickler is perfect for touching sensitive skin..

Spanking: the basics

  • Always use your hands first
  • Cup your hands (place fingers together)
  • Spank in an upward motion
  • Sense how your partner reacts
  • Leave 3 seconds between each slap
  • Switch to toys only after some time
  • Vary your technique
    (pressure, spot, speed)
  • Stop at the stop word/sign
  • Caress the spanked spots
  • Cool the skin afterwards with a soothing cream.
“It’s important for beginners to remember these tips.”

The best spots to spank

Spanking someone with a whip, flogger or a sex toy requires some confidence. The experienced BDSM lover knows this, and it’s a tip for all beginners to keep in mind. If you take on the dominant role, it’s important that you know exactly where you should spank someone.

Some spots on the body are simply more spank-safe than other parts. As a rule, the most common spanking spot is the bum. Its fat content is high, which makes this one of the most suitable places!

Spanking the bum

When it comes to spanking and BDSM, the bum is a great place to start. It can take a beating… literally. It’s recommended that the vast majority (70-80%) of spanking be done on this area of your partner’s body.

“Spanking the same spot each time can become too painful.”

Try to spread the spanking over the entire bum to switch it up. This also gives your partner some time to process the erotic sensations. Spanking the same spot every time can become too painful. If you’re thinking of using sex toys, paddles are perfect for the bum; they can cover both buttocks at once.

Spanking the back

The top of the back, or shoulder blades, is a great place to start with the flogger! As with the buttocks, it’s a large area to cover. Still, you have to bear in mind that the head, neck and spine are very close. These are places to avoid when using a flogger.

You might, before you start using a flogger (and other toys), practice on a pillow. This way, you’ll learn how to hold the flogger and be sure to hit the right spots. Handling a flogger properly is very important for effective stimulation.

Spanking the shoulder blades can release endorphins. The more endorphins, the more intense the stimulation..
“Before you start using a sex toy, you can practice on a pillow.”

Spanking the thighs

Besides the buttocks, the thighs are also quite popular (20-30%) when it comes to spanking. You can use a paddle, a flogger, or a whip to stimulate this part of the body. However, it’s important to know the difference between the upper and lower part of the thighs. Both areas are very sensitive! You’ll find the upper part of the thigh just below the buttocks. This is generally the best place for spanking if you want to stimulate and spank the thighs.


The lower part is incredibly sensitive, so it’s important to handle it tenderly. About halfway down the thighs, many people find spanking too painful and unpleasant.

Spanking other spots

There’s still a lot of ground to cover when it comes to spanking. Note that you should treat most areas with extreme care. In BDSM terms, these are called “light flogging areas”. It leads to the same sensation as the rest of the body, but you don’t have to spank it very hard.

We don’t recommend spanking the following body parts too often! These areas include lower legs, breasts, arms, abdomen, vagina, penis, balls, feet, and lower back. Only touch these areas with a sex toy or your hand if you have explicit permission from your partner/submissive.

Important to remember: the no-go zones

There are many places on the body where you absolutely should not spank with a whip, flogger, or paddle. These places include the head, face, and neck. And don’t forget the spots where your organs are relatively close to your skin! Think of your lower back and spine. Toes and fingers are also not the best places to spank someone.

“Certain places on the body should definitely be avoided.”

The difference between whips and floggers

Although a whip and flogger can be quite similar, they’re not the same. Below are some key features of both sex toys and, of course, the main differences. Read on to find out exactly what to look for when buying one of these two sex toys.

Difference in sensation

In terms of sensation, there’s not really a difference between these two spanking accessories. As a rule, the whip gives a slightly stronger sensation, as the tip is often a separate part. As a result, after a few spanks, your skin starts to tingle and feel numb. The flogger, of course, feels completely different. Getting spanked with a flogger feels like a (rough) dull slap.

Plenty of whips produce the same sensation as a flogger and vice versa. But if you’re looking for a specific sensation, this should definitely get you started!

Difference in length

Yes, the tail of a whip is generally longer compared to that of a flogger. The longer the whip, the more momentum it can gather, resulting in a harder sting and stroke. Whips with a longer length require better technique and therefore more practicing on pillows. Floggers will usually have shorter tails to give that rough feel.

Multiple tails

Some say that whips should have somewhere between 1 and 5 tails to be considered a true whip. Floggers, on the other hand, can have up to 20 tails, and sometimes even more! The fewer tails a whip has, the harder the tip and sting are received on the body. With floggers, it’s all about the area that the tails cover. More tails are more effective in getting the right feel.

Did you already know about these safe zones and spanking techniques? Or did we spark your interest? Let us know in a comment! 👇

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