Saggy breasts and labia deserve to shine. This is an ode to the female body!


This is an ode to my body and to that of all insecure and confident women in this world.

“My boobs are uneven, is this normal?”, “When watching porn, I don’t see the inner labia sticking out. Does that mean my vagina’s weird?”, “My areola is much larger than what I see on the internet, are my boobs ugly?” The female body is beautiful and unique. And because each body is so unique, there are dozens, or maybe hundreds of things to be insecure about. But there’s really no need! This article is an ode to the female body in all its shapes, colours and sizes.

On average… sucks

The average woman is… The average size in this and that country is… On average, women around the age of 30 have… Averages are terrible! They can be useful, but they’re often dangerous and unnecessary and make us want to compare ourselves in an unfair way. If you don’t look like the average woman in any way, you may start to worry. Still, it really doesn’t mean that you’re the odd one out, even if it can sometimes feel that way.

Whether consciously or unconsciously, we often compare ourselves to others. In reality, the comparison is never a fair one, as you never see others the same way you see yourself. You’ve probably been here before: you and your friends take a photo. As soon as you see it, you think: Oh my, do I really look like that?! Your friends don’t get it, as they only see a beautiful woman with a happy smile. The only things you’ll notice are crow’s feet, yellowish teeth, a bad posture, and probably much more. We’re so hard on ourselves, and it’s really a shame. It’s so unnecessary.

Give your body the love it deserves. Take a moment to really appreciate yourself. Stand in front of the mirror (naked, in lingerie, in your bathrobe… whatever feels good to you) and tell yourself out loud what you find beautiful. Then look at the parts of your body you don’t like and think about why you feel that way. Is it because you have an issue with them, or because society finds them problematic?

List of things you’re not proud of

Large nipples

Saggy breasts

Body hair

Flabby tummy

“Not enough” curves

“Too many” curves

Stretch marks

Large labia


List of things you can be proud of!

Large nipples: Normal nipples

Saggy breasts: Normal breasts

Body hair

Flabby tummy: A normal tummy, your tummy

“Not enough” curves: Beautiful curves

“Too many” curves: Beautiful curves

Stretch marks: Signs of life

Large labia: Normal labia

Pigmentation: Your beautiful skin

Pussy talk

A porno pussy is a beautiful pussy. Anything that doesn’t look like that is ugly. Erm, no way! Do your inner lips like to come out and say hello? Tell them that half of all women have those cute, curious labia. And while we’re on the subject of the vagina, let’s talk about smells! The smell of flowers? No way. The vagina does not smell like flowers, candy or peaches. Do you know what a vagina smells like? Vagina.

“The vagina doesn’t smell like flowers, candy or peaches. Do you know what a vagina smells like? Vagina.”

Is that a perfume-worthy smell? No, I don’t think so either. But it’s a very normal, intimate, and personal scent. And, with the right mindset, it can even be a major turn-on. But sometimes, it can smell a bit off down there and hey – that’s OK too. It’s a self-regulating thing, okay? No wonder she sometimes needs to recover or is upset. She’s got a lot to deal with: menstrual blood, tampons, fingers, penises, sex toys, speculums, babies?!

What’s feminine?

Being feminine is not defined by how your body looks, how long your hair is, how round your breasts are and how wide your hips are. How delicate your face and how graceful your movements. You’re simply a woman. It also doesn’t matter if you went through life as a woman from birth, or if you became the woman you always wanted to be later in life. You feel like a woman, so you are a woman. A beautiful one.

When I look at my girlfriends, I see small breasts, modest bottoms, short haircuts… and you know what? These are all super women! Bad ass mums, career bosses, self-employed, or college-educated women. They’re all amazing, and all with their own insecurities. And I always hear myself saying to them, “I don’t get why you don’t see how beautiful and strong you are!” No matter how many times you say it to someone else, you don’t take it from yourself. But we’re going to change that now! You’re beautiful, you’re strong. You are a woman.

“You’re beautiful, you’re strong. You’re a woman.”

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The perfect woman does not exist

We all know that perfection doesn’t exist. No one is perfect. That woman you see at the gym every weekend with that gorgeously toned body? She probably doesn’t have stretch marks or cellulite. You really think so? Think again! That woman with those beautiful round breasts and buttocks probably feels like a top-notch woman every day. You really think so? Think again!

“If a woman is not insecure about anything and is 100% satisfied with her body, there will still be people who’ve got something to say about it.”

Everyone has something she feels insecure about, and if a woman is not insecure about anything and is 100% satisfied with her body, there will still be people who’ve got something to say about it, because she is not perfect. The perfect body just doesn’t exist, so we shouldn’t want or compare ourselves to it.

The most important thing, or really the only important thing, is that you do everything you can to keep your body healthy and that you love your body. It is your body and it has brought you to where you are today.

What’s the most beautiful thing about your body?

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