We asked men: can you ‘tell’ if a woman will be good in bed?

In theory, sex is simple. You get turned on, you have sex with your partner, and then you come. In practice, however, things are more nuanced. Of course, achieving an orgasm is nice, but there’s something magical – something enchanting – about making love to someone who’s good in bed. But what makes a woman good in bed? We asked four men.

No judging, no right and no wrong

First and foremost: the men in this interview obviously only talk about situations where both parties have given their consent.

Besides, this article says nothing about how women “should” be. Women should be who and how they want to be. But, whether you’re a man or a woman, when you’re dating someone, you really wonder what they’re like in bed. Or you see someone walking and think… they must be very good in bed. Or it’s the other way round: you see someone you can’t imagine getting together between the sheets. We wanted to investigate this phenomenon further!

These are the personal opinions of four very different men. There’s no right or wrong, just a peek into their minds.

Alright, gentlemen. First things first. Do you think you can tell how good a woman is in bed just by looking at her? And why?

“Generally, you can. For example, she’s probably good in bed if she’s a good dancer. But there are always exceptions. Women who are too tight are not ideal for me, because I’ve got a big one. You’ll never know for sure in advance.”

“Rarely. I used to think so, but in many cases, it turns out to be the opposite. I’ve noticed that women who are very shy and quiet can perform extremely well in bed. On the other hand, women who like to be the centre of attention are often disappointing. Of course, movement, flexibility, and mobility skills play a big role in good sex. Sometimes, you can tell just by looking at a woman. And you’ll know that it’ll be alright.”

“The way she looks at you can reveal a lot. When you make eye contact with a woman, you can tell what kind of sex she likes. Personally, I can’t make out much just by looking at a woman, let alone knowing whether she’s good in bed. Perhaps that’s a gift I simply don’t have.”

“Some women have a desirable appearance that has a positive effect on her performance in bed. Sensual eyes, for example, or a sexy look. In addition, the way I feel about the woman is also important for pleasure between the sheets.”

Before you have sex with a woman, are there things that she says or does that tell you she’s a good bed partner?

“Hardly. It’s way more exciting to explore it. Language is often a simplified representation of something you feel or want.”

“Sometimes. If, for example, she moves gracefully and smoothly during foreplay with her clothes on, that bodes well. If she makes horny comments and turns out to be a good kisser, there’s a good chance that she’ll be a great sex partner too.”

“Foreplay can be a decisive factor. When you’re already dry-humping each other on the dance floor, that’s promising. I don’t know if this is because of her skills or because of the heat in that moment. In any case, you can tell if the lady is flexible and moves well.”

“Dirty talk, touching/body contact, sexy body posture.”

Are there things a woman can do that make you think she’s no good in bed?

“It’s not about what she does, but it’s more of a feeling. I think some women look at me and think: nope. And that’s okay, you just don’t feel that attraction. I have that with some women as well. If you don’t feel that click, it’s not going to happen.”

“To me… and I don’t want to come across as lame, but her dance moves say it all for me. If a woman can’t move smoothly, it’s not something that makes me think: well, she must be a goddess in bed. Still, I should add that I’ve often had sex with women who were very good in bed and… How do I put this honestly? They wouldn’t necessarily be the winner of So You Think You Can Dance.”

“Well, not really, because you can be good or bad in bed in so many ways. Lousy hip work? Perhaps she’s still very rhythmic or skilful with her hands or mouth.”

Is the way in which she kisses a good indicator of her sex skills? And why?

“Sometimes. For example, if she kisses very passionately, you probably know that she’ll like other passionate stuff too.”

“No. I’ve been with women who weren’t particularly good kissers, but who were tremendously satisfying in bed.”

“I think this is an important aspect to be able to assess whether she knows how to use her body well. Foreplay also determines the rest of the session. Is she good at what she’s doing? Then you’ll automatically take that heat to the next step.”

“In my opinion, kissing is a good indicator of good sex. Kissing is part of foreplay and sets the mood.”

Also read: An introduction to BDSM

Do you have a good sex story about a woman who surprised you in bed?

“I once had a date with a good-looking but rather reserved woman. We really clicked, and the conversations went smoothly. She was very gentle and mindful about things. After a while, I felt a certain sexual tension between us. I don’t know what caused it, because we’d hardly touched physically. Once we took off our clothes, her character changed completely. She became very expressive, dominant, and unashamed of anything. The sex was fantastic. In addition, she woke me up at least three times that night because she wanted to go at it again. After the sex, she became quiet and subdued again.”

“What immediately comes to mind is an evening when I was about 21 years old. I lived in the city centre, and I lived close to a club I went to. I took a gorgeous girl home with me, but I didn’t think that we were going to have sex or that she was attracted to me. We just had a nice evening. After she’d gone to the WC, she suddenly went crazy for me. I saw a completely different girl than I’d seen before. Before I knew it, we were having sex. As it really came out of nowhere, I didn’t really like it, because we couldn’t prepare ourselves properly. I was surprised because she was so beautiful, and I didn’t expect to have sex at all. Perhaps I don’t have the gift of seeing what women really want, though I feel like at other times, I have a pretty good idea.”

“I once met a woman at a pub, and she was quite feisty. I took her home. Once we were inside, she became very submissive, and I could do anything I wanted. This was the opposite of how she presented herself in the pub.”

What makes a woman good in bed?

“Smooth, slender, supple hip movement. When she rides me, she shouldn’t just move up and down or front to back, but there should be some curve in the movement. Besides, I get a lot hornier if she likes to be dominated. Especially if she clearly shows it. Preferably through non-verbal expressions.”

“I think mobility is the most important factor. Loose hips, flexibility, and a good sense of rhythm often make for good sex. I also like it when a woman indicates what she likes. Some women can’t do much about it, but the ability to try things has a great influence on sex. Some women find certain positions painful. And that’s a shame.”

“A woman is good in bed when she knows how to communicate well non-verbally, and when she knows how to move with the man. Don’t just stick to one position or goal. Explore all corners of the room(s) and try everything. The important thing is that you have fun together.”

“For me, affection for each other is number 1. Number 2 is expressing each other’s preferences in bed. Number 3 is making sensual sounds. And number 4: not concentrating on personal pleasure only, but also on the pleasure of the partner. And lastly, I love women who make elegant movements; just like the ocean currents.”

What do you think of these answers? Let us know in the comments!