Some people enjoy pleasure in silence, but many others moan loudly as they enjoy sex. Or is it just an act because they think they have to moan to make their partner feel good? Whatever the reason, a lot of people moan during sex. But why? And what’s the use of it? We’ll explain more about it in this article.
Why do we moan during sex?
It’s a very animalistic thing. A kind of primal instinct. When we experience pleasure, we lose control over our body and over the sounds we make. So those loud moans you know from porn may sometimes be a bit exaggerated, but genuine moans are an unconscious reaction.
“Sincere moaning is something we do subconsciously and is actually a type of primal instinct.”
Actually, moaning during sex means that you or your partner is doing something right. If your partner is moaning all the time and you make a different move and suddenly they’re silent…. there’s a chance that this could be a less satisfying experience. If so, take a quick look at your partner’s face: that ought to tell you all you need to know. Although some women do fall silent just before they cum.
To moan or not to moan?
Fake moaning… Don’t. Sometimes women think they have to moan during sex, but, of course, that’s not true. We’re no fans of faking it: no orgasm, no moaning. If you’re silent at the height of pleasure, it’s really not a good idea to moan loudly just to make your partner feel good.
Genuine moans? Do. Do you usually enjoy yourself quietly, but does your partner do something that really makes you wild and feel crazy hot? Then you really can moan a little louder to let them know how much you like it.
“Allowing yourself to moan can even help you reach climax!”
Allowing yourself to moan can even help you reach a climax! When you moan, you let yourself go completely and the more you surrender to the sensation, the easier it’ll be for you to cum. And if you’re consciously holding back your moans, you’re not fully focused on enjoying yourself, so reaching an orgasm is less likely.
Scared to moan? We’ll help you!
Gigi Engle, sex coach and author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love and Life has a unique exercise for you. Okay, this might sound a bit crazy. And to be honest, it is. But it’s also a lot of fun and it will help you surrender to your primal instincts so you can moan freely.
For this exercise, you and your partner will play a kind of role-playing game. You both get down on your hands and knees and pretend to be animals. You can choose the animal. (We recommend something sexy like a tiger, lion, or cat. A snail, a squirrel or an anteater might be slightly less suitable choices for this game).
Then you start grunting and moaning and rolling over each other like wild animals. Didn’t we say it sounded a little crazy? It’s still worth a try, though! Gigi Engle says that this will trigger your animalistic primal instincts and gets your heart racing. And by being so ‘crazy’ with your partner, a simple moan during sex suddenly feels a whole lot more normal.
“You both get down on your hands and knees and pretend you’re animals.”
Not really a moaner? No worries!
Perhaps moaning isn’t for you. And that’s not a bad thing at all! Don’t fake your moans, as that won’t help anyone. Use other ways of communication to let your partner know that you like it, say for example “Oh, I like that”, “Yes, this is good”, “Yes, go on”, or hold your partner firmly and direct them in the right direction.
My partner moans loudly and it doesn’t turn me on
Hmm… This can be challenging. If your partner is unconsciously loud, there’s little they can do about it. And if that’s the way they fully enjoy sex, it’s not really an option to ask them to “tone it down”. It’s best to be gentle about it, but we also have two sexy tips for you that may help!
Put on some music. A sultry bedroom jam playlist works wonders – for the mood and to mask some moaning. To help you out, we’ve got a whole bunch of playlists for you.
Use a ball gag. A ball gag is a ball attached to a harness put in your mouth. Because of the harness, you can’t spit it out. It’s almost impossible to moan (loudly) with this. There are different kinds of ball gags. Some look pretty cute and have holes so breathing is not impeded. Others look quite kinky and have no breathing holes, making them only suitable for the advanced user.
Are you a quiet one in bed or have the neighbours already complained about your moaning?