Role playing, threesomes or other sexual fantasies? This is how you get started!

Have you ever thought about role-playing or a threesome, or do you have some other sexual fantasy? Unsure how to talk about this to your partner? We understand. In this article, we’ll tell you how to approach your role-playing game, threesome or other sexual fantasy!

Discussing sexual fantasies

Discussing a sexual fantasy can be scary. And while every fantasy is different, some common tips apply to discussing your sexual fantasy. We’ll discuss these tips first, and then we’ll talk more about role playing and threesomes!

#1. Give hints

If you really have no idea if your partner is open to your fantasy, it’s smart to do some subtle preliminary research. So instead of directly saying that you’ve been dreaming of a threesome for years, you can give subtle hints. For example, tell them that you’ve had a hot sex dream about a threesome and that you found it amazingly exciting. Then gauge your partner’s reaction…. Do they respond with interest? Then you know there might be room to discuss your fantasy. But does your partner immediately start laughing or do they give you a disapproving look? Then you know you’ll have to be very careful when discussing your desires.

For example, tell them that you’ve had a hot sex dream about a threesome and that you found it amazingly exciting.

It’s very important that you can share your fantasy with your partner. Even if your partner is not open to it, they have to respect you, so maybe you can meet each other halfway.

#2. Sharing is caring

It can be scary to share your fantasy, but what if you wait years to share your fantasy only to find out that your partner has the same fantasy? A fun way to get to know each other’s sexual desires better is to play a game. You and your partner both write down what your sexual desires are. It could be anything… Think of outdoor sex, a threesome, role play, but also smaller things like using a toy, sex with a blindfold, or sex with the lights on. It can be as small or as big as you want. You write each fantasy down on a piece of paper and put it in a big box. Afterwards, one by one, you take a piece of paper from the box and discuss the fantasy on it.

It’s important not to laugh at what you read and to respect each other. Be open to your partner’s ideas so you can expect the same in return.

What if you wait years to share your fantasy only to find out that your partner has that same fantasy?

How to… start a role-playing game

A word about role-playing. It might be a tough fantasy to start with, because how do you go about it? How do you pick a scenario? How do you get into a role? And more importantly, how do you do this without bursting into laughter!

First of all, during a role-playing game, it’s really okay to laugh every once in a while, especially if it’s still new to you. After all, the point is for both of you to have fun.

#1. Practice on your own

If you’re playing the role of someone else for the first time, it’s not surprising that it feels uncomfortable. So it’s a good idea to practice your character on your own. Think of phrases you could say or maybe put on a different accent? Why not? If you’ve had some time to shape your character and get to know it, it will feel much easier to play this role with your partner!

#2. Express your discomforts and doubts

Before you start the role play – and we don’t mean five minutes beforehand, but a few days – talk about it. Talk about what you find exciting and discuss your expectations. That way, you know what you expect from the role-play and from each other. For example, are you going all out with costumes or are you just starting with a different character? Do you want to be very serious, or do you want to see how it goes the first time and just have a laugh?

Make sure you discuss your expectations well in advance.

#3. Start slow

Practice, for example, during dinner. When you’re sitting together at the table, you can practice a little role play. Just for a few minutes. Pretend you’re the chef and your partner is a restaurant guest. Ask if the food tastes good and if they need anything else. See how that goes. Does it go smoothly? Then try walking together in the supermarket and pretending you don’t know each other. “Sir, do you know where the bananas are?” Strike up a conversation as if you’re strangers. As it’s about a normal topic, it probably won’t be as awkward.

Once you’ve “practised” like this a few times and it feels right for both of you, then you can start your first real role play!

Also read: 24 sexy roleplay ideas to spice up your sex life

And a threesome, how do you do that?

Many people who do want a threesome are afraid that the first time will be a bit uncomfortable. And to be honest: it can be. It’s most important that all three of you are ready for it and feel like it.

Then there are a few things that can help make it less uncomfortable.

#1. Open communication

It helps if you already know each other. or if one of you has experience with a threesome so that they can take the lead. Agree on what you can and cannot do beforehand so that no uncomfortable situations arise in the heat of the moment.

#2. Foreplay

Start slowly: you really don’t have to start having sex right away! On the contrary. Get to know each other, make each other feel at ease. For example, go out for a drink or a meal first, go to the movies, or choose something more sensual like a club, swimming, or the sauna. This way, you can get used to each other and warm up slowly.

If you go out together, you can dance with each other and see how it feels to touch one another. And of course, a drink makes everyone less nervous! After a fun night at the club or pub, it won’t be as uncomfortable at home.

#3. Enjoy

And during the deed itself? Then it’s especially important that you all enjoy it! Do not only think about your own pleasure, but also keep an eye on whether the others are also enjoying it. Divide your attention, be attentive and be extra nice to each other, and then it should be fine.

Which of these tips will you apply?