“I want to try swinging. How do I tell my partner?”

While swinging seems to be becoming more common, for some it’s still taboo. There are quite a few people who are frightened by the word, but it doesn’t have to be as intense as some people think. We’ve got some tips to help you talk about it in a relaxed way!

Good communication within the relationship

Communication is always one of the most important elements of a good, healthy relationship. Being able to talk about sex and intimacy is essential. So, only bring up the subject of swinging if you can talk about your sex life openly. If talking about sex in general is still a bit difficult for you, then it’s wise to work on that first before you start proposing something like swinging.

Tip: Playing an erotic game can be an excellent way to talk more about sex and (re)discover each other’s sexual preferences.

Making swinging discussible

Before you bring up the topic, it’s wise to dive into the subject yourself. Know what swinging means, what varieties there are, and why people do it. Knowing more about it ensures that you can clearly explain to your partner exactly what it means, why people do it and what you’d like to try. Emphasize that you see it as an exciting addition to your relationship or sex life, instead of it being a sign that something isn’t right.

Also read: An open relationship: all the tips and tricks

The characteristics of a swinging couple

Many people are still frightened by the word ‘swinging’ and see it as a form of cheating or a sign that their current sex life isn’t exciting enough. This is often not true, so it’s important to explain that swinging couples usually see it as an exciting addition to an already satisfying sex life. Swinging couples prioritise mutual respect, unconditional love, trust, and open communication.

Did you know that… Swinging can create a deeper connection between partners?

Talking with your partner

Bring up the subject calmly. It’s always a good idea to keep checking in with each other about how satisfied you are with the relationship and your sex life. For example, first ask your partner an open question: how are they feeling about your relationship at the moment? How does your partner feel about your sex life? By doing so, you open up the conversation and create space to share your vision. There’s nothing wrong with indicating that you enjoy your sex life and that you would like to experiment with new things. Introduce swinging as something that you’d find exciting to experience with your partner, just out of love and respect for them. Then remain open to their reaction.

Also read: How to make an open relationship open for discussion with your partner

Your partner isn’t interested

It is possible that your partner will immediately indicate that they’re not interested. Feel free to ask what makes them reluctant and what their opinion is about swinging. If necessary, you can explain what it means to you and that it says nothing about the quality of your current sex life. Perhaps your partner can still meet your needs. If they really aren’t open to it, then this is a boundary you have to respect. After all, swinging can only be enjoyable if you both fully support it.

Your partner is interested in swinging

If your partner reacts positively, the next step is to find out  how you are going to make space for swinging in your relationship. Don’t rush into anything; calmly discuss how you envision things. Do research together about the possibilities and forms of swinging and don’t be afraid to discuss feelings, wishes, and boundaries.

Fact! A good foundation and mutual trust are essential for successful swinging.

Keep in mind that you’re always swinging together. Every step you take in this, you make together with your partner. Do not make any decisions without talking about it to maintain mutual respect and trust.