Why does make-up sex feel so good?

Every relationship has its arguments and quarrels. Research even shows that all healthy relationships have at least one thing in common: arguing. A good fight can lead to a harmonious relationship. And arguing often includes make-up sex. Many people call this “the best sex there is”…. We’ll tell you why and what its power is all about!

Fact! Research shows that an occasional quarrel is one of the most important keys to a healthy relationship.

Why we want sex when we argue

When we’re angry, many things happen in our bodies and our brains. For example, when a person is angry, the hormone testosterone is released. In men, testosterone often results in aggression and competitive behaviour, but it’s also known as the main booster of our sex drive. In short: a high testosterone level leads to aggression and a desire for sex. An additional effect of anger is a lowering of the level of cortisol. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone, and a reduction in the levels of this hormone leads to increased libido.

Also read: These are the very best ways for surpring and spoiling your lover

The fear of distance

In addition, something else happens psychologically during make-up sex. Sex often becomes less interesting when you know that you can always get it. During an argument, a certain distance is created between the partners, which leads to the fear of losing the partner and the sex. We often praise and eroticise someone who seems unattainable. The distance between two quarrelling partners therefore leads to increased sexual attraction.

Fact! It was shown years ago that anxiety and tension lead to an increased libido.

The power of make-up sex

The above explains why many people get turned on after a fierce disagreement. So how effective is make-up sex? That depends on when it takes place. When the tension and sadness of an argument are still very much present, sex usually isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Make-up sex is especially good when the couple is already in the recovery phase: when the emotions have calmed down and the partners have comforted each other. At this stage, sex is a good way to strengthen the bond between the two lovers. One reason for this is the increased level of oxytocin during sex. This hormone stimulates feelings of love and encourages stronger bonding.

Good sex must be timed correctly. When there’s too much anger and sadness, having sex is not a good idea. If the quarrel hasn’t been properly resolved, you may feel even worse after sex.

Sex for the right reasons

So, make-up sex is healthy, but do it for the right reasons. Getting into bed because you’re sexually aroused by the anger is not a good idea. When this happens, a couple cannot create space to talk things out. Sex then becomes a distraction, and the danger is that the relationship may lose emotional depth. Give each other time to cool down first. After that, make-up sex can be a great way to find peace again and to reconnect. Sometimes it even brings about a deeper sense of love for each other. After sex, many couples are able to talk out and analyse their differences in a calm and less emotionally charged way.